I think society has something wrong about the core concept of the ideal of wanting someone to feel better.  I do, I really do. Why? Well, I’ve got quite a lot going on, and it’s given me quite a lot of time to think. To think about our society. To think about our programming. And, to think about how startlingly remarkably selfish humanity can be even while endeavoring to be exude passion, understanding and support.

I’ve got a lot going on. My dog was potentially stolen, a dear relative has been diagnosed with cancer, I’ve got various other things occurring and in the midst of it are two thoughts that I turn over and over again. I’ve got a friend, we’ll call him Scotland, who I enjoy speaking to at length quite immensely. Scotland and I get up to all manner of discussion. Sometimes it’s Scotland, Fargo, and myself sitting in my flat debating society and the ages. Now I feel left out because this story doesn’t warrant me having a codename. Let’s call me…Dullahan.

Because I like the Dullahan legend.

“Dullahan,” Scotland will often say, “I don’t understand why we place so much emphasis on the shallowness of relationship.”

“Yes Scotland,” I’ll begin, “I agree. I think that, people tell themselves they are in pursuit of burgeoning bonds because bonds are what we’re told we’re to have, but in actuality I think many of those pursuits exist solely to bolster the belief that we are in fact the hero of our story.”

“Dullahan,” Scotland will speak with fervor, a great light sparking about his eyes, “That’s it exactly! I feel as though we place these labels on relationships without truly meaning them, though we convince ourselves that we do.”

“Yes Scotland,” I’ll continue, my own excitement mounting as it often does when Scotland and I bandy and discourse with one another, “my perspective is thus; I despise to be called someone’s ‘bro’ or ‘brother’ or ‘besty’ far more often than not. I despise it, because those words ring hollow with no virtue behind them. I’ll do anything for you really means I’ll do anything as long as I am not personally inconvenienced. If I am to be inconvenienced I will only do so when the mood hits me, and only when I am made most uncomfortably to face the negligence that I have shown our relationship.”

“Indeed Dullahan, and as long as I do not have to venture outside of my comfort zone or set aside my own needs, I will surely assist in yours. You may have the shirt that I have, oh but only if I have no fewer than ten remaining. I will support you in any way that I can, however you must meet my emotional and psychological comforts to do so.”

“Yes Scotland, and of course, how dare you not do more and above for me?”

I believe that we as a culture, as a society, as human beings have lost our way. This is about the pedagogy of comfort. I don’t understand this pedagogy, to be perfectly clear. I don’t understand the pedagogy that states I will not work longer, fight harder, give more, inconvenience myself for my fellow man. I’m told that I am too righteous, that I take life too seriously, that I hold men to a standard that cannot be met. I would argue however that I ask only for man to meet decency and integrity.

True decency, true integrity, true fellowship by its very nature implies the willingness to inconvenience oneself at times for one’s compatriots. If the parameter of comradery extends only so far as “I will help you so long as I am not required to do any more than what is mandated, expected and sufficient within my own perception, goals and desires”, then why bother with the label of friend, let alone brother? Why not associate? Why not passerby? Why not interaction partner?

Simply put, I believe we use these labels, brother, sister, bro, sis, besty, because they make us feel good about ourselves and our situations. We say that we are busy. We say that we are tired. We say that we lack resources. These are comfortable lies that comfort the minds of those not truly seeking anything more than a shallow relationship, or else desiring that relationship without the necessity to put in equal or greater effort to cause it to grow.

I am too serious? Perhaps you are not serious enough.

I am too personal? Perhaps you lack ownership.

I am too zealous? Perhaps you simply lack ambition.

And thus do two simple words become slogan and rallying cry for the truth of the matter: Please do keep up this facade, this wonderful caricature of charisma and joy. I should certainly hate to be inconvenienced in this relationship, wouldn’t you?

-Eugene “Xeawn” W.
@DragonHouseStudiosAK
http://www.xeawnsgamingcorner.com
dragonhousestudios@gmail.com