So, let’s talk death huh? Yaaay! This is a topic that most people tend to shy away from, which is very interesting. If you are a saved and baptized believer, you know that as Vlad Dracul would say “Transient guests are we.”

We exist in a world that despises both us and our Lord and Savior, and we know that once we depart from this place we’re going to the most wonderful, peaceful and pain free place that we can’t possibly even begin to fathom. Yet people are afraid to talk about dying.

For those of us that are left behind, it can be an awful feeling where, we know our loved ones are in a much better place, but that doesn’t matter too much at the time because we want them here. We want them with us. We miss them, we love them, we need them, and nothing can really prepare you for the pain and loss that you’ll experience, even if you knew it was coming for some time.

I remember when my grandmother Wenona Irma Ward passed, I was completely and totally devastated. I’d been taking care of her for three years as she had gotten very ill in her late life, and every day she was such a large part of mine. I would get up in the morning and come to her room after checking on her all throughout the night. I would help her up, and once she was ready to face her day I’d make sure she had a good breakfast. I would call and check on her and talk to her throughout the day, and when I came home I would make her dinner.

We would eat together and talk about our days, and we would break bread together. I would sit and have tea with her and we would talk about everything under the sun. She would share with me her memories, her joys, her sorrows and her regrets. When she knew that it was her time, two days before we took her to the hospital, she told me

“Grandson, dearest, I want you to promise me something.”

And I said

“Yes ma’am?”

And she said

“Everyone else is going cry when I go home. I’d tell them not to, but, they won’t listen. But you, don’t you cry until I go home. I want you to smile to me, and talk to me, and sing to me, right up until I’m gone. I don’t want my death to cause anyone pain; it’s a happy occasion. When I go though, then you can cry. Promise?”

And I nodded and said

“Yes ma’am.”

And I honored her promise.

I knew that my grandmother was passing, and even then I wasn’t prepared. What really broke me was I wasn’t there when she died. I don’t regret it; she told me “Boy, you better go to work!” and so I did. I’d stayed at the hospital for like, three days and nights with her, and then I went into work that morning. I got the call right after a meeting I was at ended, that was slipping and it was time. I got to the hospital a handful of minutes after she was gone.

I honored my promise and didn’t cry until they had put her in the bag and taken her away. I thought I was ready. I clearly wasn’t. I completely fell apart and sobbed so hard I almost collapsed.

My family and my friends protected and supported me during this time, and I think on her now with nothing but the fondest of memories. Death is never something we’re prepared for, but it always means something. It is no respecter of person; whether you are rich or poor, young or old, brave or cowardly, death comes for us all. The only difference is, where will you go when you die?

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world he gave his only son that whosoever believeth in him shant perish but instead have everlasting life.”

John 4:16 “I am the way the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father but through me.”

Death is permanent, death is no respecter of person, and death should always mean something.

One convention that I’m never very fond of is killing a character and then bringing them back and then killing a character and then bringing them back and so on and so forth. I don’t necessarily mind that near death suspenseful moment where you’re holding your breath and hoping and praying the hero will open their eyes and make it, as long as it’s not dreadfully over used. Overall though, I feel like when you kill a character, especially a protagonist, and then you’re like “Oh wait, I’m totally okay!” that just sorta makes the whole experience feel cheapened.

Now, I think in the right place it can be a well done plot device, but I feel like in that instance it shouldn’t be one of those “I watched you get shot/stabbed right in the head/heart! How are you still here?”

“Oh, well, using the ancient technique of/using the power of/using time travel/using etc. I came back!” type of deals.

By and large I’m a firm believer that when you die, you’re dead. Unless you’ve got a darn good reason to suddenly not be dead, if you die in one of my novels you’re gone. In that regard, I try to be exceedingly cautious when I make the decision to end a character’s life, hero or villain. When someone dies, or when you’re afraid that someone is going to die, it means so much more when you know that there’s nothing that can change what’s coming.

When you understand the weight and importance of death in a Dragon House Studios novel, and you’re reading and being taken on this hard won hard fought journey where nothing is promised, you’re pulled in so much deeper than before. I think two of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received on my writing was when one person told me “I was so mad at you! I was so scared that ___ was going to die, and you just dragged that out and I kept waiting and hoping and then there were the blank pages of silence and then-“ and I’m just gonna stop right there before something gets spoiled for you.

The other compliment was when someone, a friend, came up and punched me in the arm shouting “YOU JERK! YOU KILLED ___! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU KILLED ____! I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!”

Yeah, it was pretty great.

This is gonna sound a little bit morbid, but, I feel like if I’m able to elicit that strong of a reaction out of character death then I’ve done my job well. You’re endeared to a character, you’re attached to them, you love them and you care for their well-being. When they hurt, you hurt. When they smile, you smile. When they experience loss, you experience that loss right along with them…and when they die…

It means something.

So, do you know where you’re going when you’re gone? How do you feel about character deaths? Have you experienced a loss that shook you as well? Take heart and faith in the love and goodness of God and His promises, and know that there’s a home in heaven for all of us. This has been a Dragon House Studios spotlight. Much love, God bless, and be safe out there.

-Eugene A.R. Ward
“Xeawn”